I was born an animal rights person. My father often used
the word "anthropomorphism" to address my ascribing complicated feelings
and thoughts to animals. The dictionary definition of anthropomorphism is
"an interpretation of what is not human or personal in terms of human or
personal characteristics." It made sense, but somehow diminished what I
was seeing and feeling in the animals.
When we notice in animals their loves, dislikes, and vast
array of personal qualities that distinguish them as individuals, it is in
my opinion mere observation, not anything needing a 7-syllable word to
label it.
Although my sensitivity towards animals was not only
understood but shared by my mother, I was sometimes mocked by other
relatives. It was nothing I thought much about, all that I knew was that I
held a deep aversion for seeing the blood, bones and flesh of dead animals
on my plate. I learned to not attend to what others had on their plates,
realizing that I was different in my attitudes towards animals, and
continued to love and enjoy the company of other people who did not share
my feelings. I realize that this inattention was a much needed defense I
acquired to help me experience happiness and a feeling of belonging in my
world.
I continue to ignore peoples eating choices to this day. I
cannot however find it within myself to continue associations with those
who make a lifestyle out of animal cruelty conducted with their own two
hands. That to me is another level of disconnection from natural empathy
which feels frightening to me.
Flash forward: my decision to become a psychologist.
Decision one was whether it was possible to get my doctorate without
raising a scalpel or even opening a cage in an animal lab. Taking that a
step further as I investigated graduate schools, I decided that I did not
even want to be associated with any institution that performed such
atrocities, even if I could protect myself from it. I found that place in
The California School of Professional Psychology in Los Angeles.
As a practicing professional, I find that a lot of people,
colleagues, patients, friends, are self proclaimed animal lovers, to
different degrees of course. When people I meet decide to use modern
technology to find out more about me, they come across in their Internet
searches an article I wrote discussing my thoughts about meat eating and
the defense mechanisms that allow people to consume what they "love"
without aversion. Interestingly, I have found that most people report
finding this article interesting, compelling and even "great." A few of my
patients said that they wanted to read more. I was delighted by this, as I
would never want my patients to feel in anyway judged or criticized by me
when they discover my animal rights leanings. I respect people, as I do
animals, to be who they are and am touched by the fact that most people
have granted me the same respect.
I think that it is important not to feel the need to
disguise one's self as a professional, to appear neutral to all. Our
differences will hopefully inspire others to feel the freedom to be
themselves.
The few people that have responded negatively to my animal
rights interests tend to approach the topic indirectly by telling me
stories of hunting, or other such activities to see how I will react. My
goal is not to react. I recognize immediately that there is more to the
discussion than meets the eye, and utilize my much needed clinical
observation and understanding to get through the experience. In the
office, a psychologist comes to expect people to tell them things that
might shock, abhor or in other ways offend without reacting as one would
personally. Patients often come in because of interpersonal difficulties,
and testing others or trying to shock others, instead of seeking to be
understood, is an unfortunately common clinical picture that requires
empathy and careful interpretation, not judgment.
It is more difficult in the personal arena. Recently a
colleague, who is aware of my animal rights interests, began telling me
stories about his work in an animal lab, fully cognizant that this would
not be a topic I would enjoy discussing. He kept asking, "do you want to
hear this?" As I repeatedly said "no, I don't," he went on to describe in
detail the atrocities he committed in the lab. Instead of reproaching him,
I tuned out the details, and turned the situation into an exercise in
examining my own reactions.
As I grow as a psychologist and person in the world, I
realize that it is important to me to constantly work on improving my
ability to cope with my feelings and reactions. I found myself
surprisingly calm in this situation, and was pleased with my growth. I
came to the conclusion that this person was experiencing internal
conflict, and instead of working at coming to terms with himself, decided
to torture me with the gory details as a punishment for bringing up his
self loathing. Despite my efforts, some of what he was saying did make an
impression on my brain. I was troubled for a few days with horrible
imagery of what he was discussing. I can only imagine what his "higher
self," the part of him that is not blunted by his defense mechanisms, must
feel, on some deeply troubling level. I feel pity rather than anger.
I thank my mother for giving me the gift of understanding
and self acceptance that carries me though this difficult and often harsh
world. It is not easy, but so far I have enough energy to take care of
myself and thankfully help others who come to me for understanding and
help.
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