Vegan lifestyle articles that discuss ways of living in peace with humans, animals, and the environment.
lauren Ornelas,
Appetite
for Justice
May 2017
Never once did I feel like an ally. The entire time I just felt like I was doing what was right; I was fighting for everyone to feel safe and equal. I know that I tend to be very skeptical, but my hope is that everyone who thumps their chests by posting images to show they are an “ally” is actually living their day-to-day lives in this manner and not just doing it for show.
I have always felt weird about the term ally, mostly because I tend to
see it during my quick glances at Instagram, where vegan white guys post
images of themselves at Black Lives Matter protests or chest thumping in
support of protests that turn “violent” (I am not a pacifist, so I put
violence in quotes as my definition might be different than yours).
I find many of these types of posts done by white guys who basically seem as
if they have to scream they are an ally but have made so many missteps in
front of me – not only as a woman of color but even as a woman.
Ironically, this has primarily been my experience with white guys – saying
random things about women and POC but falling short in person.
I explained this to a friend of mine, pattrice jones, and she explained to
me that when my husband Mark and I got married in Massachusetts (we refused
to get married in California due to Prop 8), we were acting as allies. Okay,
that I got – sort of. I mean, I didn’t feel like I was doing this as an ally
but more because it was right.
When something happened recently, it got me thinking again.
Food Empowerment Project (F.E.P.) had an event in San Francisco at a Latino
cultural center. As with other events, we put signs up on the bathrooms (the
one at the top of my blog) so that all would feel welcome. But people
working at the center took issue with the signs and asked us to take them
down.
The preparations for the event had already been stressful, but I knew that
it would be difficult for me, as the founder of F.E.P., to have an event
where people would not feel comfortable. This was not something I could
accept, and as a Chicanx, I was a bit perplexed.
I asked to speak to the manager and was told they were not there. The woman
who had told my event coordinator that the signs had to be removed said that
the person in charge was not there. I asked if I could speak to her. She
told me no, she had left for the day; she repeated that we were not allowed
to put the signs on the bathrooms and said that they had already received
complaints from pregnant women attending another event in the building who
said they did not feel safe in the bathrooms because of the signs.
As we were discussing this, another employee called the person in charge and
just handed me the phone.
I spent half an hour on the phone with this person explaining why it was
imperative we have these signs up. When I mentioned that I felt it was
discriminatory – a woman sweeping the floor in the front got very angry and
said out loud – this is not discriminatory. I continued to try to explain to
the person in charge that given how our people had been treated in the past
(and even now), we should understand discrimination and should not be
participating in it.
I offered a compromise for us to be able to put the signs up after their other events were over and take them off when our event was over. She then explained it would be hard for her staff, so I offered to go up personally and speak to each and every one of them (about five). I offered to introduce them to any transgender people at our event and how it makes them feel for us to not have these signs up.
She was not interested.
In fact, she had told me that no other organization had ever asked for this
to be done―we were the first.
Then I asked her to please put in writing why they felt this was
unacceptable and email it to me so that I could share their concerns with
the people of San Francisco.
That got her attention. At that point she was interested in my compromise.
I was incredibly upset and on the verge of tears when we hung up.
One of the employees came up and gave me a hug, thanked me, and told me they
were so ashamed.
I admit, that there was one point during this argument that I thought she
was going to ask us to leave and terminate the event. I was worried because
I knew I would accept that versus not having these signs up. Right or wrong,
I could only hope the supporters of F.E.P. would understand.
Never once did I feel like an ally. The entire time I just felt like I was
doing what was right; I was fighting for everyone to feel safe and equal.
I know that I tend to be very skeptical, but my hope is that everyone who
thumps their chests by posting images to show they are an “ally” is actually
living their day-to-day lives in this manner and not just doing it for show.
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