Companion Animal Care Articles used with permission from All-Creatures.org

Ed Boks addresses the doubt one reader is experiencing after rescuing a feral cat and reminds us that success may look different from one rescue to the next.

Ask Me Anything #11: Struggling to Socialize a Feral Cat—Did I Do the Right Thing?
From Ed Boks, Animal Politics with Ed Boks, AnimalPolitics.substack.com
May 2025

Photo from Canva/Pixabay

When Rescue Feels Like Captivity

Not every rescue story unfolds with purrs and cuddles. In this Q&A, a devoted cat lover wrestles with guilt and uncertainty after taking in a feral cat who just won’t warm up. Can time and care heal old wounds—or are some cats simply wired to live on their own terms?

The Question

I’m struggling to socialize a feral/stray cat and starting to wonder if I made the right choice. He seems unhappy.

Background:

A cat appeared at my home on a 5-acre wooded lot. I fed him daily for 3 years, though he never let me touch him. When we moved, no shelters or neighbors could help, so I trapped him and took him to the vet. He was already neutered and microchipped to a small rescue that had lost track of him. They said I could keep him.

He spent a week in a room at our old house, then moved with us across state lines. He’s now in a quiet room with windows, hiding spots, litter, food, water, a cat tree, and a playpen. I tried the Socialization Saves Lives program, but he ignores treats and toys, and didn’t get any exercise confined to the playpen—so I let him out. He’s been in this room for two months. I visit twice daily; my husband joins occasionally. Still no progress.

We recently replaced the door with a screen so he can see our other pets (3 dogs, 1 cat). So far, very little interaction.

We’re moving again soon, and it’s been a lot—for him and for us. Some friends suggest he may never want to live indoors, and that may be true. But I couldn't leave him behind, and he wouldn’t be safe outside here.

I just want to know: Will he ever come around? Or am I doing something wrong?

Thanks,
T.T.

Animal Politics Responds

Hi T.T.,

First, let’s acknowledge something important: your compassion saved this cat’s life. You saw a vulnerable animal, took responsibility, and followed through with extraordinary effort—even when it got hard. That matters.

That said, your questions deserve honest, nuanced answers—because yes, some cats never fully socialize, and yes, you might feel like you’ve “imprisoned” a creature who wants something you can’t safely give. But that doesn’t mean you did the wrong thing.

Here’s what your story reveals:

1. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re doing everything right—just with a very hard case.

Three years of avoiding contact outdoors, disinterest in treats, toys, and minimal social progress all suggest you’re dealing with a truly feral or extremely undersocialized cat. These cats often never adjust fully to indoor, human-centered lives. That doesn’t mean they can’t adapt—but their version of “success” might look different.

For some, it’s a quiet room, predictable routines, and minimal interaction. Think of it as a sanctuary life—not a failure, but a humane compromise.

2. His quality of life isn’t determined by affection—it’s about safety, stability, and choice.

You’ve provided a soft landing: shelter, food, peace, and protection. His hiding, watching, and quietness aren’t necessarily signs of misery. For some ferals, not being terrified is progress. Is he eating? Using the litter box? Grooming? If so, he’s not suffering—he’s coping.

3. Socialization isn’t linear, and some cats simply plateau. That’s okay.

The “Socialization Saves Lives” model is helpful for many, but it’s not one-size-fits-all. If food and play drive aren’t there, you’re left with presence and patience. Think of yourself as a constant, non-threatening background character. Sit and read aloud. Nap in the room. Let time work on its own terms.

4. The question isn’t whether you made him happy—it’s whether you made him safer. You did.

Releasing him in a new town is not ethical or safe. His territory, known hiding spots, and resources are gone. Outdoors now is not the same as outdoors before. Even if he’s not “happy” in the way we define it, he’s not starving, freezing, fighting, or dying alone.

5. Long-term options to consider:

• Lifetime sanctuary room: He might thrive best with a stable, low-stimulus indoor setup.
• “Porch cat” compromise: If your final home allows it, a secured catio or enclosed outdoor access might give him enrichment and autonomy.
• Long-haul patience: You may find that six months, a year, even two down the line, he begins to soften. Some do—when they realize they’re finally safe.

Final thought:

You didn’t rescue him for affection. You rescued him for protection.

You’ve done that.

And sometimes, the kindest thing we can do for a wild-hearted animal is not ask them to become someone they’re not, but give them a life where they don’t have to be afraid.

You’re not failing him. You’re honoring him.

—Ed

Have You Faced This Too?

I suspect many of you reading this have opened your hearts and homes to feral or semi-feral cats. Have you ever faced a situation like T.T.’s—where your compassion met a wall of feline resistance?

What helped? What didn’t? What do you wish you’d known then that you know now?

T.T. (and I) would love to hear from others who’ve walked this difficult, uncertain road. Share your insights in the comments—we’re listening.

[Leave a comment on the original article.]

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Posted on All-Creatures.org: June 4, 2025
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