Groundhog Day 2015
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From NotMilk.com
February 2, 2015

It has been a brutal winter for Punxsutawney Phil. The weather has been wonderful, but little snow means that Phil's been awake, and his handlers delight in feeding Phil ice cream, a not-so natural rodent food. Phil skipped his usual hibernation this year due to the mildest winter in memory.

Could an overweight Phil be due to the powerful growth factors in milk and dairy products? Groundhogs should not be eating a diet of bovine growth hormones and high calorie-containing saturated animal fat. Neither should humans, for that matter.

The 2015 New York version of Groundhog Day will differ from last year's in which Mayor Bill de Blasio dropped Staten Island Charlotte on her head killing the animal. New Yorkers suffered 6 additional months of hell after the mayor botched the traditional ceremony.

The January 7, 2015 issue of Medical Microbiology and Immunology describes a process by which experimental groundhogs are being injected with hepatitis B virus strains in order to come up with a vaccine to help infected humans. Ellie Barnes and her team of Oxford animal sadists have not witnessed such torture as when the New York Knicks played and lost a regular season game on January 15th (two weeks ago) by sixteen points in London. Whose idea was that to Schedule such a fiasco? Probably the same genius who invited de Blasio to a repeat performance this year in New York.

Hopefully, that is not what people witness today in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania where there is currently A mix of rain and snow.

As today's column is being composed, spectators standing in Gobblers Knob awaiting the appearance of a groundhog named Phil are trying to stay warm in 33 degree temperatures with wet snow and icy rain.

There will be light snow and Phil might not see his shadow, but that would mean winter is finally over. You couldn’t tell by examining my New Jersey driveway.

Millions of people unable to attend today's ceremony can watch the best romantic comedy ever made. From Staten Island to Saddle Brook, from Oshkosh to Savannah, folks will be treated to the Groundhog Day film every 2.5 hours on the AMC channel beginning at 10 AM, EST. The movie is brilliantly entertaining. I may watch it more than once.

It has been a brutal winter for Punxsutawney Phil. The weather has been wonderful, but little snow means that Phil's been awake, and his handlers delight in feeding Phil ice cream, a not-so natural rodent food.

Two hours from now at approximately 7:20 AM, a groundhog will trek to Gobbler's Notch to make his official weather forecast. Today's celebration will mark the 128th consecutive year that Groundhog Day has been celebrated in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.

Come sunshine, rain, or snow, the groundhog's keeper has assured us that their little rodent will see some sort of shadow due to his enormously fattened bulk, even though it's cloudy and snowing lightly in Punxsutawney as this message is being posted at about 3 AM.

The fix is in. They've been feeding him ice cream during the "off season". Phil skipped his usual hibernation this year due to the mildest winter in memory.

This past year, American consumers have been presented with the dairy industry argument that consuming dairy products helps people to lose weight, which makes absolutely no sense, but makes for great press by those whose job it is to deceive America into consuming milk.

On average, groundhogs weigh a little over five pounds when they emerge from hibernation in the spring. After a summer of eating, September weights can soar to ten pounds. The largest wild (free and un-caged) groundhog weighed in at fourteen pounds!

The bigger news has nothing to do with the weather. It's why Punxsutawney Phil has become the Holstein cow of groundhogs. He's the pig of little furry hibernators. What has Phil been munching on all winter while observing his dairy-based weight loss program? Ice cream! The root of our groundhog's obesity ain't roots. It's dairy!

Bill Deeley, the local funeral home director who emcees Punxsutawney's much-publicized Groundhog Day Festival and sees to Phil's needs 365 days out of the year, had this to say about Phil's diet: "He's naturally a vegetarian. But he loves ice cream and strawberry sundaes."

Phil, the ground-cow, weighs in at 15 pounds and measures 22 inches in length.

Could an overweight Phil be due to the powerful growth factors in milk and dairy products? Groundhogs should not be eating a diet of bovine growth hormones and high calorie-containing saturated animal fat. Neither should humans, for that matter.

So...eyewitnesses will see Phil spring from his burrow and report that he did not see his own shadow. Winter is over for everybody except the Seattle Seahawks who managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in the final play of yesterday's Super Bowl game. Easy on the ice cream, or you and Phil might look lousy in bathing suits next summer.

When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak anddark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.
- Weatherman Phil Connors, Groundhog Day

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All-Creatures.org Health Position and Disclaimer

We began this archive as a means of assisting our visitors in answering many of their health and diet questions, and in encouraging them to take a pro-active part in their own health.  We believe the articles and information contained herein are true, but are not presenting them as advice.  We, personally, have found that a whole food vegan diet has helped our own health, and simply wish to share with others the things we have found.   Each of us must make our own decisions, for it's our own body.  If you have a health problem, see your own physician.