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A Collection of Religious and Other Humor from All-Creatures.org

It is our hope that this collection of humor will help make us laugh at ourselves, and hopefully live a more compassionate cruelty-free lifestyle.

Submitted by Maynard Clark - 23 Jan 2003
Now we know why medical costs are so high!
A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary surgeon.  As she gently lay her pet out on the examining table, the vet positioned his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

Within a moment or two the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry; Polly has passed away". 

The distressed human companion wailed, "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything.  He might just be in a coma or something?"

The vet rolled his eyes, shrugged, turned, and left the examining room, returning just a few moments later with a beautiful black Labrador.  As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog raised himself on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and curiously sniffed the dead parrot from top to bottom.  Then he stared deeply at the vet with mournful eyes and shook his head.

The vet warmly patted the dog and took him out, returning only a few moments later with a cat!  As cats do, the cat jumped up on the table and delicately sniffed at what once was a bird.  The cat sat back on his haunches, shook his head, meowed, and quickly ran out of the examining room.  

The vet looked at the woman and said, "Ma'am, I'm really sorry; but  like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably...dead."

He turned then to his computer terminal, hit a few keys, and produced a bill which he handed to the woman.  The parrot's owner, still in shock, took the bill.  

"$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my bird is dead?!"

The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would only have been $20, but .... what with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan..."

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