Kids' Theology
A Collection of Religious and Other Humor from All-Creatures.org

It is our hope that this collection of humor will help make us laugh at ourselves, and hopefully live a more compassionate cruelty-free lifestyle.

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Submitted by Maynard S. Clark
September 28, 2003

1. Dear God,

Please put another holiday between Christmas and Easter. There is nothing good in there now.

Amanda

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2. Dear God,

Thank you for the baby brother, but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up.

Joyce

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3. Dear Mr. God,

I wish you would not make it so easy for people to come apart. I had to have 3 stitches and a shot.

Janet

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4. Dear God,

If we come back as somebody else, please don't let me be Jennifer Horton--because I hate her.

Denise

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6. God,

I read the bible. What does begat mean? Nobody will tell me.

Love, Alison

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7. Dear God,

How did you know you were God? Who told you?

Charlene

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8. Dear God,

Is it true my Father won't get in Heaven if he uses his golf words in the house?

Anita

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9. Dear God,

I bet it's very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world.

There are only 4 people in our family, and I can never do it.

Nan

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10. Dear God,

Did you really mean, Do Unto Others As They Do Unto You? If you did, then I'm going to get even with my brother.

Darla

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11. Dear God,

I like the story about Hanukkah the best of all of them. You really made up some good ones. I like walking on water, too.

Glenn

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12. Dear God,

My Grandpa says you were around when he was a little boy. How far back do you go?

Love, Dennis

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13. Dear God,

Do you draw the lines around the countries? If you don't, who does?

Nan

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14. Dear God,

It's O. K. that you made different religions, but don't you get mixed up sometimes?

Arnold

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15. Dear God,

Did you mean for giraffes to look like that, or was it an accident?

Norma

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16. Dear God,

In Bible times, did they really talk that fancy?

Jennifer

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17. Dear God,

What does it mean you are a jealous God? I thought you had everything you wanted.

Jane

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18. Dear God,

How come you did all those miracles in the old days and don't do any now?

Seymour

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19. Dear God,

Please send Dennis Clark to a different summer camp this year.

Peter

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20. Dear God,

Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they each had their own rooms. It works out OK with me and my brother.

Larry

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21. Dear God,

I keep waiting for spring, but it never did come yet. What's up? Don't forget.

Mark

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22. Dear God,

You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways before I cross the street.

Dean

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23. Dear God,

My brother told me about how you we're born, but it just doesn't sound right.

What do you say?

Marsha

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24. Dear God,

If you watch in Church on Sunday, I will show you my new shoes.

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25. Dear God,

Is Reverend Coe a friend of yours, or do you just know him through the business?

Donny

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26. Dear God,

In Sunday School they told us what you do for a job. Who does it when you are on vacation?

Jane

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27. Dear God,

In school we read that Thomas Edison made light, but in Sunday School they said you did it first. Did he steal your idea?

Sincerely, Donna

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28. Dear God,

I do not think anybody could be a better God than you. Well, I just want you to know that. I am not just saying that because you are already God.

Charles

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29. Dear God,

It is great the way you always get the stars in the right place. Why can't you do that with the moon?

Jeff

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30. Dear God,

I am doing the best I can. Really.

Frank

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31. Dear God,

I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday night. That was really cool.

Go on to: Kids' Theology - II
Return to: Kid's Notes to God
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