Humor DirectoryLines of Levity-3
A Collection of Religious and Other Humor from

It is our hope that this collection of humor will help make us laugh at ourselves, and hopefully live a more compassionate cruelty-free lifestyle.

Compiled by Alan Nash
Submitted 18 Oct 1998 by Maynard S. Clark
Editorial comment by Frank L. Hoffman


Police sergeant Eammon O' Leary was a staunch Catholic. After ten years with New York City police, Sgt O'Leary had earned great respect for his diplomatic handling of awkward people. His parish priest had helped develop Sgt O'Leary's diplomacy skills, which included being respectful to folk of all religions.

One cold February morning Sgt O'Leary was summoned to an eight story apartment block where a distraught young man stood on a protruding balcony intending to jump to his death. Our good Catholic Sgt decided to persuade this young man to change his mind.

Thus, he called out, ''Please don't jump because you will bring terrible grief upon your family.'' The young man yelled down, ''I grew up in an orphanage and have no family !" Again the Sergeant called out, ''Well, young man I appeal to you not to jump for the sake of your dear wife.'' With marked annoyance, the young man cried out, ''I am a confirmed bachelor!''

Finally, police Sgt O'Leary resorted to a religious appeal. ''Young man,'' he cried, ''I beg of you not to jump for the sake of the blessed virgin!''

To this appeal, the young man loudly responded, ''It's no use officer, I'm a Protestant!''

Sgt O'Leary looked visibly hurt. Then hurt gave way to annoyance whereupon he cried out, ''Jump you rotten Protestant - Jump! Jump!''

Editorial Comment:   Many of us may laugh at this joke, for it does reflect the way many people think.  However, in my opinion, this joke really reflects one of the ways in which we sanitize violence in our society.  After I read this joke, I couldn't help but think that this is just the type of "humor" that festers the racial problems of Northern Ireland.  Just because someone is different from us, doesn't give us the right, under God, to wish them harm, or even think evil of them.  If we truly love God, we will love His whole creation.  We will love the heavens and the earth.  We will love and have compassion for each other, without any limits.  And, we will love and have compassion for all of the other creatures whom God created, too. - Frank L. Hoffman


A speaker should cultivate brevity,
With a suitable leaven of evity.
In short, be terse, For nothing is worse
Than interminable verbal longevity.

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