Non-Standard Units of Measurement
A Collection of Religious and Other Humor from All-Creatures.org
It is our hope that this collection of humor will help make us laugh at ourselves, and hopefully live a more compassionate cruelty-free lifestyle.
Handy Engineering Conversions
- Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
- 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
- 1 millionth mouthwash: 1 microscope
- Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier: Mach Turtle
- 365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less
filling: 1 lite year
- 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Sterling
- Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
- 1000 aches: 1 megahurts
- Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
- Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarse power
- Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
- Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: bananosecond
- 10 cards: 1 decacards
- 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
- 1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
- 1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
- 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
- 500 millinaries: 1 seminary
- 2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbirds
- 1/2 lavatory: 1 demijohn
- 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
- 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
- 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
- 100 rations: 1 C-ration
- 10 rations: 1 decoration
- 1 million billion piccolos: 1 gigolo
- 10 millipedes: 1 centipede
- 3 dents: 1 trident
- 3 1/3 tridents: 1 decadent
- 2 monograms: 1 diagram
- 8 nickels: 2 paradigms
- 105 dollars = 1 Millicent
- 1012 antellas = 1 tarantella
- 109 antics = 1 gigantic
- 100 tics = 1 hectic
- 10 aides = 1 decade
- 1000 female sheep = 1 milieu
- 2 doctors = 1 paradox
- 100 Senators: Not 1 decision
- 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
- 365.25 days: 1 unicycle
- Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong (say it out loud)
Go on to: Note To My Furry Roommates
Return to: Noah and the New Ark
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