Humor DirectoryThe Painter (in time for weekend worship services)
A Collection of Religious and Other Humor from

It is our hope that this collection of humor will help make us laugh at ourselves, and hopefully live a more compassionate cruelty-free lifestyle.


Submitted by Maynard S. Clark - 14 Aug 2003

There was a tradesman, a painter called Jack, who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often would thin down paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the painting of one of their biggest buildings. Jack put in a bid, and because his price was so low, he got the job.

And so he set to erecting the trestles and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine.

Well, Jack was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, and the sky opened, the rain poured down, washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Jack clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Jack was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got on his knees and cried: "Oh, God! Forgive me! What should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...

(you're going to love this)

"Repaint! Repaint! and thin no more!"

Ouch ! I'm outta here


Maida Genser [email protected]  wrote:

Disregarding the sanctity of life and the planet with impunity has given us a world that is rife with violence, war, pestilence, starvation and poison in our air, water, and food. -- from “Why I Am Vegan,” by Jeffrey M. Freedman

See my personal web page at  

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - Dave Platt


Go on to: The Pope's Limousine
Return to: Then the Lights Went Out
Return to: Humor - Table of Contents