Humor DirectoryVegetable Groaners
A Collection of Religious and Other Humor from

It is our hope that this collection of humor will help make us laugh at ourselves, and hopefully live a more compassionate cruelty-free lifestyle.


Q: Why did the tomato turn red?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing

Q: What vegetable might you find in your basement?
A: Cellar-y.

Q: What is green and goes to a summer camp?
A: A Brussels' scout.

Q: What vegetable do you need a plumber for?
A: A Leek.

Q: Why do potatoes make good detectives?
A: Because they keep their eyes peeled.

Q: Where did the vegetables go to have a few drinks?
A: The Salad Bar.

Q: What is small, red and whispers?
A: A hoarse radish.

Q: What vegetable can tie your stomach in knots?
A: String beans

Q: Why is it not wise to tell secrets in a cornfield?
A: There are too many ears.

Q: When is a cucumber like a strawberry?
A: When one is in a pickle and the other is in a jam.

Q: What is a Honeymoon Salad? A: Lettuce alone, with no dressing.

QQ: What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A: Quit stalking me.

Q: What do you say to rotten lettuce?
A: You should have your head examined.

Q: Why did the Tomato go out with a prune?
A: Because he couldn't find a date!

Boy Melon: Honey, dew you want to run away and get married?
Girl Melon: Sorry, I cantaloupe.


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