In the middle of the night,
I wake to the beat of my heart,
I know that you aren’t in sight,
but also, we aren’t far apart.
I feel your comfort here,
just beside me in the covers,
where you used to snuggle so near,
I know beside me you still hover.
My angel during your life,
you’re my angel now as well,
I know that through all the strife,
and all of the tears that fell;
you were nestled close beside me,
your presence was soothing and warm,
I told you to go, to be free,
but your comfort around me still forms.
I used to tell you that I wouldn’t leave behind,
I never thought I would feel the agony I felt,
or that I would be left here to grieve,
until my heart would so nearly burst.
But when Jesus called you to Him,
I could not argue or fight;
I knew that you would be safe,
with His gentle and loving light.
I struggle to understand,
why I had to say goodbye;
why I lost my very best friend,
so often I’ve just asked, why?
But then you always remind me,
that you are never far gone,
that you are my angel beside me,
always there to keep me strong.
I may wish you were present,
wrapped up in my arms and well,
but I know no cause for resentment;
there is no true reason to dwell.
There was a plan, I know,
dear Neo, my one true love,
a plan that may never show,
’til I join you in Heaven above.
But I trust there was a reason,
another role for you to fill,
and despite the moments of treason,
I know that it was His will.
Now when I lie in the dark,
I don’t beg for your return;
I can still feel your living spark,
and the love that we shared burn.
We are connected, you and I,
a unity deep to our core,
the one thing I cannot deny,
of which I will always be sure.
It will never be truly goodbye,
because I know, deep inside,
with a love bigger than the sky,
you will always be by my side.
© Shenita Etwaroo
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