Youíre a Mean One, Mr. Fudd
By Jim Robertson
An Animal Rights Poem from All-Creatures.org

Youíre a Mean One, Mr. Fudd
By Jim Robertson
Exposing the Big Game / Animals in the Wild

[The following is a marriage between the Looney Tunes' cartoon character who best depicts the average hunter and Dr. Seuss' lyrics that so perfectly describe them...]

Elmer Fudd hunter

Youíre a mean one, Mr. Fudd.
You really are a heel,
Youíre as cuddly as a cactus, youíre as charming as an eel, Mr. Fudd.
Youíre a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

Youíre a monster, Mr. Fudd.
Your heartís an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Fudd.
I wouldnít touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

Youíre a vile one, Mr. Fudd.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile,
Mr. Fudd.
Given the choice between the two of you,
Iíd take the seasick crocodile.

Youíre a foul one, Mr. Fudd.
Youíre a nasty wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks;
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr. Fudd.

The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote:
Stink!
Stank!
Stunk!

Youíre a rotter, Mr. Fudd.
Youíre the king of sinful sots.
Your heartís a dead tomato squashed with moldy purple spots,
Mr. Fudd.

Your soul is an appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Fudd,
With a noxious super naus.
Youíre a crooked jerky jockey and
You drive a crooked horse,
Mr Fudd!

ELmer Fudd hunter

Youíre a three-decker sauerkraut
And toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!

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