Rudolph’s in the Slammer
By Barbara Snow
An Animal Rights Poem from

All of God's creatures have rights, a fact that most people don't seem to recognize. This includes both human and non-human animals, but not all of them can speak for themselves.

Rudolph’s in the Slammer
By Barbara Snow

For: Sergeant E. Jim Hall
Clearwater PD Canine Unit 

Stuck at FSP,
Doing thirty years for a simple B & E
It started in October; he was on a chimney check 
Santa said, “Be careful or you’ll catch a lot of heck;
Don’t let them think you’re a robber, or they’ll haul your butt to jail”
Rudolph paid no heed, and there began the tale
His nose was fire red; Rudolph was a Star, “I don’t need an intro; I’m famous near and far” 
Ego was his downfall; he leaped to the chimney in sight
Of the lady of the house who cried: “Thief,” as she hollered for the blue and white
K-9’s finest busted him; handcuffed he was led away
“Sure your name is Rudolph, that’s what they always say”
The judge showed Rudolph no mercy; the jury was not of his peers
The DA came straight from Hell wanting a conviction and thirty years
His counsel was ineffective; Rudolph took the blame
Now he’s at Florida State Prison with a number on his name
They feed him grits and gravy; he doesn’t like his bed
The ‘bosses’ give him no respect; his nose is no longer red
He dreams at night of his lady while lying in his cell
Love letters from jail go out in the mail; life in Starke sure is Hell
Hear our plea, Governor Crist and Justice Sonya too
Let Rudolph out of prison; he’s got Christmas things to do
Open your hearts to a pardon; Santa needs him to lead
Children must have toys, and shelter pets what they need
Help finally came for Rudolph; they opened up the gate
Gave him 100 bucks and a pair of jeans, Santa said “Hurry, don’t be late”
The ‘ladies’ at the bus station waved as he flew away
“We can’t hustle Rudolph - we must have Christmas day”
Up up he flew into the night; as he left, we heard him say:
“Merry Christmas to all at FSP”, as he now led Santa’s sleigh
Over Clearwater, he saluted ‘Captain’ Hall’s K-9 team
For the awesome work they do
And to their dogs, the Guardians of the Night’, he said
“Tonight, I hope I’m as good as you.”

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