Vegan on a Jet Plane by David Madow
An Animal Rights Poem from


Vegan on a Jet Plane
By David Madow

All my food is packed, Iím ready to go
rom Baltimore to Ohio
This one hour flight will put me to the test

Got a Tofurky sandwich Ė with fake mayo
Three slices of avocado
Almond butter and celery sticks in my vest.

My suitcase is gluten free
The TSA man winks at me
And waves me through every single time

ĎCuz Iím vegan on a jet plane
Plant based and feeling great again
Eating quinoa in the sky.

Now itís twelve oíclock and almost time to board
Got all the food I can barely afford
Iíll wait for them to call me to the gate
When I look around, one thing I see
Is someone DRINKING diet coke and eatin' beef jerky

I pray to God he wonít be my seat mate
My tshirt says HERBIVORE
ím led right through a special door
I get pre-boarded every single time

ĎCuz Iím vegan on a jet plane
And yes Iím getting enough protein!
So donít you worry about me!

A guy asks me ďMay I sit here please?Ē
Then he pulls out a sandwich of liver and cheese
A girlís wearing a mask (itís not Halloween), I guess she's got strep throat

On the other side a lady resides
Eating rotten salmon sushi and a bucket of fries
Did I mention that sheís wearing a long mink coat? (and itís August)

The flight attendant asks me what Iím readiní
So I pulled out my copy of Main Street Vegan
I get FIRST class upgrade every single time

ĎCuz Iím vegan on a jet plane
Eating fruit in the friendly skies again
Watching clouds go by.

The boy in back of me says his tummy is aching
As heís eating five eggs and ten strips of bacon
I gotta do something before I go insane
So I ripped of my shirt and showed my vegan tattoo

I handed all the passengers a bunch of tofu
All of a sudden the aura on the plane changed

The guy in front of me started meditating
As the smell of kale was permeating

The flight attendants were investigating
When a man with diabetes threw out his medication

An elderly couple began copulation
Everyone was loving no one was hatings

The flight became so peaceful I could cry

The pilot said come fly with me
Just bring some extra broccoli
A cockpit seat every single time

ĎCuz Iím vegan on a jet plane
No one is eating meat again
Feel the compassion grow

ĎCuz Iím vegan on a jet plane
Donít know when Iíll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go!

See David perform this on his website - The David Madow Lifestyle Show.

Return to: Animal Rights Poetry