Anthony James Poetry By Anthony James
A Spiritual And Inspirational Poem from

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Poetry By Anthony James
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About the Author

I am a born again Christian. The Lord was Gracious to me in 2009 healing me of an almost ten year prescription pill addiction that began after 2 automobile accident's in 1999 and 2002. The addiction lasted the better part of a decade. I was very sick from all the pills and I was dying from taking them for so long and at high doses. I prayed and prayed for a miracle but it didn't seem that it would come. I began to resign myself to death. I was at deaths door and I knew it.

My Testimony is one of having died and gone to hell (Sheol). Indeed, I was engulfed in fire in this place.  I was in a 'cage'. Sitting down and struggling to breathe. Where did I go? What happened to me? I do believe the Word of God answers these questions but I also know that most important is that I was returned again from this place.  But when I returned I was no longer the 'me' that had left and come back. The Holy Spirit was upon me, within me.  The Anguish of His Heart was in my heart. The sorrow and fear and trembling that was upon me brought me down to such a place where all I could do was weep and tremble. Agony was upon me. I was so sorry about so many things all at once. So many Truths, particular the Truth of 'death and hell'. And the Truth of The Word of God. I knew 'Every Word was True'. For, The Word was in me! I carried this with me for the better part of two months. Godly Sorrow and True Repentance. Truth and Knowledge of Godly things. Amen, Lord. Truth and Knowledge and Godly Sorrow truly brings forth repentance. And it is written; (2 Corinthians 7:10). How many wonders were there during these times? Many! Between my Lord and myself. Amen. And in two months this almost decade long addiction to oxycontin and oxycodone and sleeping pills..  was gone. Miracle. No doctors, no detox centers, no nothing. Just me and Jesus. Me weeping and sobbing.. yes with sorrow.. crying out from a depth that was uncovered in me.. crying out in a place of True Truth in me for Mercy and Forgiveness. Crying tears and trembling (shaking) in my bed. My whole entire Spirit was saying "I am sorry" that is how I felt most strongly.. sorrow and sadness... 

I felt that I had done something wrong at some point.. I had gone away on my own.. I got lost and into trouble on my own. I ended up on drugs and they would kill me.

I wrote two poems during this time. One was "Golden Shoes & Diamonds Too" the other is "Hero in love (Heroin love)". 

I am now away from all of that for several years.  But Salvation always feels like yesterday. You know why? Because it is in us, every single day. Let us Abide in Him then, and He in us. Let us Repent and Give God's Son all the Glory.  You know the one thing that I cried so much about? That I Knew.. was given Knowledge, Truth of these two things.. 1. Jesus knows me. And I mean He really, actually knows me, Gerard. 2. That yes, I am indeed one whom He knew, on the Cross and died for.

When I was addicted to all the drugs and at that time I truly was a broken man. My heart was broken and my spirit was truly crushed. By so many concurrent things. Just way too many things had gone wrong for me and I was a broken man. I tell you, Jesus knows when a man is broken by the world. Truly, I was a man with nothing of the world, I was sick, poor, dying.. no one was talking to me in my family.. I was utterly, alone and then I died and my spirit went down to place where spirits go when they leave the dead.  But we know that God can bring death to a man and bring a man down to the pit and back again (1 Samuel 2:6).

So then, I was this broken man and I had nothing. I hated the world. I hated my life and I didn't want to be on this earth, though I did stay as long as I could and Jesus will show you this to be true for the world was moreso getting rid of me, than I it.  Jesus was always in my heart, thoughts, and prayers. I did suffer brothers, sisters. But my suffering was of God! Because God Loved me He Chastened me throughout my life.  And I confess, that my spirit did break and it took breaking for Saving. O' God my broken bones? Let them rejoice! (Ps.51:8  8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice). O' God I know me, my ways and how I was. And you and me are in perfect agreement that You knew me and I know that You knew me even before I was able to be honest even to my own self about my own self! Praise You, Father! You are Father. I am child, God. That only You God could break me a part and piece me together again.  And I know now and understand that You had to break me to Save me.  And now, Saved I am just like the frightened child who would say "Daddy, I can't (handle the world) I'm afriad"..  and You, God did give me 43 years to die of my old self. And for these reasons of Your Love for us.. did you Created this world, at all. (I so earnestly want to be with You)

I had nothing, was a broken spirit.  Then, Jesus lifted me up. He dwelt in me and I wept and trembled in fear for the Lord is Terrifying and He Chastises in the hidden places and it is frightening but it works! Amen Amen! And lo, having nothing of the world and dead and rejected by it..  Jesus Gave me Everything!

Eternal Life in the Kingdom. Jesus is True and Faithful. God's Covenant is True and Faithful. O' Jesus my Thanks is also Love, they are one, somehow.

O' God to You be the Glory.. Glory to Glory unto Salvation...  Jesus. 

Amen, Amen.

I thank you for reading my Testimony and also my poems. I pray the Lord be with you, always.

Anthony James  

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