Poems of compassion dedicated to the non-human animals who share this planet with us and the people who fight for them.
Grannie
Grandmother to a good home ONLY! I love her, but she doesn’t fit in my life
anymore. I just want to see her go to a nice home, preferably with other
grandmothers, but she’s fine being the only grandma. She has silver hair
with some white in it, cute glasses, and very soft hands. She loves to knit
and crochet. She will come with a full bag of yarn skeins, 1 tube of denture
adhesive, a few pots & pans, & her favorite chair. I am asking a small
rehoming fee to ensure she goes to a good home.
Buddie needs a country home
Buddie is an adolescent. He has brown hair, brown eyes, a few freckles, is
short, and super cute. I am trying to rehome him, because I am moving to the
city. Buddie has lived his whole life swimming in streams, climbing trees,
and playing in corn fields. I would like him to stay where he is happy. I
can’t afford to keep him any longer. I just took him in for his checkup, so
buddie is healthy and up to date. $75
Serious inquires only, please. This is the second time I’ve listed him.
Looking for the mother?
Mother is very high energy. Very dominant at PTA meetings. She shows well-
she has won 1st place in many cook offs, and was voted ‘best mom bob’ in the
hair contest in the parents group. Mother is standard size, dark brown hair,
hazel eyes. Mother will bake the best brownies, and a lot of them! I am
downsizing my family, and mother no longer produces children, so I am
rehoming her. She will come with awards, macaroni necklaces, and a recipe
for a mean tofu scramble. $200 firm
FREE toddler
Free blue eyed 2 year old girl to a good home. I just don’t have the time to
train her. She chewed on my iPhone 7, and destroyed it with her gums and
drool. I didn’t think she would take so much of my time. I think she would
be happier with someone who has the time to spend with her. She has had
‘accidents’ peeing on my carpet, but I think she would be ok in diapers. She
seems fine with adults, teens, elderly, other toddlers and pets. $10 and you
can also have her teething biscuits, and all of the cute outfits I bought
her, mostly still new with tags.
Your new bestie
I am looking for a new home for my best friend. We have been together since
we were both born. I got a new cat, and my best friend doesn’t like my cat.
My new cat looks just like the cat from the cats & dogs Pixar movie! My best
friend gets along with family, friends, dogs, bunnies, gerbils, Guinea pigs,
birds, and co-workers. Best friend will always be there for you in a
supportive, non-judgmental way. Best friends are forever, but, I really love
my new cat. Needs go to a home without cats. BF is petite, dark blonde hair,
grey eyes, fair skinned. Small rehoming fee. Comes with a lot of empathetic
tears.
Cuzzie
Cuzzie, my red haired cousin, needs a new forever home. I can’t keep Cuzzie
because my landlord doesn’t allow red headed cousins in the building. My red
headed cousin has never hit, or yelled at anyone, but, I suppose it’s how
you raise them. Cuzzie is very affectionate, likes to sit on the couch with
you and watch Netflix. Cuzzie has never been rude to any guests, or mail
delivery workers. Cuzzie is a very chill red head cousin. Cuzzie just needs
someone that understands redhead cousins, and has experience with them.
Cuzzie would prefer to be the only cousin in the house, but gets along with
other cousins outside the home. Free to the right person.
Found uncle Sammy
Tied to a tree in Walmart parking lot near the intersection between
Applebee’s and Starbucks. Uncle Sammy misses his family. It looks like his
family tied him there and forgot him? …also forgot a bottle of water, a
couple containers of Chinese food, and a hat that says ‘uncle Sammy’. I
think he’s around 57, he seems to like motorcycles, Andy Griffith, and gets
along with small dogs. He has salt and pepper hair, and a 5 o’clock shadow.
He won’t stop crying. Please come and get your uncle!
Small adopted child
I adopted a rescue from DCF a couple years ago, but due to allergies I have
to get rid of her. She has a little food aggression it seems, because she
always seems hungry, but if you feed her away from other children l she
should be fine. When I adopted her, I didn’t realize how much hair, and dead
skin cells she would shed. Also, she needs daily toothbrushing, baths, food,
water, attention, exercise, mental stimulation, interaction, socialization,
etc. she is a little shy at first, but should be fine. I don’t know how big
she will get, because I never saw the parents. Her hair is black, and long,
and I think her eyes are brown. She will need space to run, and her own
room.
$25
Free roomie!
I have an energetic roommate that I need to find a new home for ASAP. She is
a bubbly brunette, with average build. This roommate will need an
experienced roomer, because she is energetic and needs a lot of attention.
She is VERY friendly, to the point of irritating friends and family so they
stop visiting. This roommate talks A LOT! She LOVES interacting. She will
come with a lot of stuff!
Adorable [soon to be Ex] husband for sale
I am getting a new, younger husband in the very imminent future, and need to
get rid of my current husband. I want to make sure he goes to a good home,
because he has always been a good husband. He’s just not as much fun for me
anymore since my life changed. He is currently scruffy, probably due to
depression from my wanting a divorce. He is brown haired, green eyed, and
has a tattoo of my name on his arm. He has sired children, and is proven fit
for fatherhood. He is very loyal, to a fault. He is a little territorial,
but very low energy. He would probably have more pep with a change of diet.
I’ve put money and time into him over the years, so, I am asking $100, but
would consider a trade for a gym membership or a jet ski.
Go on to: Creepy, cruel or demented Cursory rhyme
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